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Archive for the ‘Misc’ Category

Merry… Christ-tide?

A short history lesson by David Frum is my gift to you on this Christ-tide morning. Christ-tide? Read the piece:

http://www.canada.com/nationalpost/news/issuesideas/story.html?id=44a5695d-acbd-4f40-83b2-0e4266e90430

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I Dream in Movies

I have a habit of envisioning my life from a bird’s eye view. I catch myself viewing my life in third person, as if in a dream – watching myself, simultaneously in control and predestined. After all, if its predestined then someone must already know, like the scriptwriter or director, even if they’ve kept the actors in the dark for dramatic effect. In real life I tend to box situations into probable movie scenes and attempt through this process to predict what might happen next. When I dream, more often than not my source material is stunningly unoriginal, usually dictated by the most remarkable event of the day. And since we usually end the evening catching up on 5 seasons of “24”, more than once in my dreams I have been Jack Bauer, saving a life or the whole world through actions and decisions that walk the fine line between too far and way over the edge.

In the post wrap of most situations, I think about things I could have said differently, or things I might say next time in the same situation, as if I could rewind my last moments and make an edit. But things rarely happen the same way twice – you miss that opportunity for a killer one-liner and its gone, baby, “Hasta la vista”, unlike in a movie where you can do another take and freeze that classic moment for eternity.

Is there a problem here? I think in movie scenes. I dream in movie scenes. I definitely talk in movie scenes. How many times have I uttered “Whoa! Do NOT go in there!” or “He’ll flip you… he’ll flip you for real” or “Freeeeeeeeee-dooooom!” or “Yeah, I can pretty much milk anything with nipples” or one of my all-time faves “How about I give you the finger… and you give me my phone call?” How about “What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn’t one yesterday” or “Keyser Soze…. KEYSER SOZE!!!” or “You make me want to be a better man” or (same movie) just after Greg Kinnear lets his lost little dog lick his face, the maintenance man who found him unceremoniously and in front of his arty friends who are at his place for a party informs him: “Yeah, I found him in the basement eating diaper sh–.”

Movies are the most pervasive medium of our existence. Most of us have seen so many movies that it’s hard to pick something we haven’t seen that’s not on the new release shelf, and even then, try picking a non-new release movie with a friend or two. It gets exponentially more difficult the more friends you’re with. The older I get the less this happens. There just isn’t time to go to the movies anymore and when I do go we see “Cars” or “Over The Hedge” or “Open Season.” Good movies to be sure but not ones that offer up lines I can use in my daily life.

I’m not sure how useful they actually are but at least they help me to determine who’s on my wavelength… my very odd, distorted wavelength. What I mean is this: can you tell me which movies 50-70% of those classic (in my mind) movie lines I mentioned in the above paragraph come from? If you can we’ll probably get along just fine. If not, well, we might be entirely different people who probably won’t end up spending my time together. Or maybe you just need to catch up on some movies. Name those movies, or in other words: “Go ahead, make my day.”

1. “Whoa! Do NOT go in there!”
2. “He’ll flip you… he’ll flip you for real”
3. “Freeeeeeeeee-dooooom!”
4. “Yeah, I can pretty much milk anything with nipples”
5. “How about I give you the finger… and you give me my phone call?”
6. “What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn’t one yesterday”
7. “Keyser Soze…. KEYSER SOZE!!!”
8. “You make me want to be a better man”
9. “Yeah, I found him in the basement eating diaper sh–.”
10. “Go sell crazy someplace else. We’re all stocked up here.”

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